
Pictures here
My friend Jose got married last weekend in Puerto Rico and of course; I am very happy for him because he seems very happy to be married. He was only on the phone with Elena every second of the day when he was not working, eating or sleeping; actually I think he sleep talked to her too. Wedding was at 10am in the morning, 6 hours after I had gone to bed after a night out with Luis and Linje. Paul, Jose’s boss from AVM, and his family were also in attendance. We should have known; it’s Puerto Rico 10 AM, which really meant the wedding would get started at 11:30. I thought we were late as we strolled into the church minutes after 10, but we were the first ones there. I was thirsty even after I finished my bottle of water, but Luis was probably 10 times more dehydrated after hurling like a champ all night. He managed to wake me up at 5am with his dry puking. Like a good friend, I got him another bucket in addition to the one he already had. As he couldn’t get his head to face the downward position, one single trashcan wouldn’t contain his possible horizontal trajectory.
The priest did the ceremony in Spanish; I was waiting for him to say the “I now pronounce you husband and wife”, but even if he did say it, it went over my head. Apparently, he messed up Jose and Elena’s names; every laughed. Elena looked lovely, so did her bridesmaids and the blonde that Linje was eyeing the whole morning. I took a bunch of terrible, blurry pictures of the wedding, but my pictures of Luis, Linje and I looked great.
The reception afterwards was actually held on an army base. They didn’t check my id, but I got through. If I was a spy, which of course I am not, I would just need to have a friend get married on an army base to infiltrate. Maybe this little gimmick works in China and Russia too. CIA, think about it.




Each table at the reception was named after a country that Jose and Elena want to visit, very cute I thought. A wedding camera on each table lets the guests take pictures, another great idea. When I get married in the distant future, whenever that will be, I want that too. Maybe I should start a list of things I want for my wedding. But I already have a list of things I want for my future house; on top of that list is a urinal, so I can never “miss”. I can’t keep too many lists. Ok no wedding list, since I am sure my future wife already has one, which girl doesn’t anyways?
Jose did his dirty dance and got everyone excited and proceeded to dive in head first into Elena’s skirt to… get the garter. At the last wedding I caught the garter the groom threw, not knowing catching it meant I was to be the next to get married. This time around I let the other fellows have a shot at it.
I asked Nicole, one of Jose’s hundred cousins, if going to a wedding makes her want to get married. She said no. That question was more for me actually. Going to the wedding made me at least think about when I want to get married. I don’t even have a girlfriend anymore. I guess it’s hard to get married without one. I am safe from marriage. Excellent!
Congratulations Jose. And… make sure you are the one wearing the pants in the house
If you need a few pointers, I can put you in contact with my friend Sergio.